beat:oversexed in the 80s

pfr punks, polished millionaires, and semi-cute aerobics instructors from a disney cruise were all oversexed in the 80s...

beat:songs from my past

DEC25DEC25JAN1,DEC27There's nothing like emotional white girls to help me figure out how I'm feeling about the boy of the moment. I've always liked the same person when I actually think about it. He's had it hard growing up, can't seem to see the light, and a cute smile. There I come to help them with an idea that I've sewn into my head since boy one. I've decided that I've never actually been in love I've been just feeding a desire to be needed. i fell in love with what i could do for them, Which poses a question, what am I looking for? Someone to help and fix me? Sometimes i think i just need a gerbil or something

beat:sara+kendra+guy+earwax

me sara kendra and guy at earwax...love them...look how pretty my friends are...guy came to chicago to help sara with the drive back to savannah, what a nice fucking guy.

beat:guy

fanfunkingtastic!





i almost forgot

beat: postal service

soooo, we all know about my chase bank and birth certificate drama. turns out anything i mail to jills gets returned urgh. my mom said she got my birth certificate back on saturday and chase said they received a return yesterday, WHHAAAAAA. so yes i was waiting for nothing. looks like my life will be back on track by the middle of next week. i spoke to whitney my new friend and co-worker at AA and she said the position is still mine as far as she knows, so im not as far up shit creek as i thought (phew. now all i have to do is stay alive until the mail comes (^_^)

beat: what!?!?!?

beat: am i nuts?

to some this maybe old, but watch it, you know you want to

beat: lakeview, are you nuts? are you insane? crazy?

Today Erin correy caitlyn and i just chilled all day. take a look. its funny how my life works. right now i kinda suck. my id is gone thus i can't get a job, im broke, but for some reason i was able to find a group of fantastic people to balance my worries out. i know i know i may have spoke on this before, but it's odd how things pan out for me. I've been unable to be unset because i have mainly brenna recently and other friends from Savvy reminding me of my self-worth and i have a new group of friends here who welcomed me with open arms. it feels good. and just because my situstion SUCKS like no other, im able to smile (this has been an emo moment by dez thanx)


ps. thanks erin, caitlyn and correy for a good day

beat: my first style blogging experience

this is gonna be really flippin' fun. Brad and I are waiting outside of the liquor store for Erin and Caitlyn. Brad looks over a sees these hysterical girls wearing some crazy gear. we chase them down to get their picture. they turned out to be wasted and the best way to start the night. after we take their picture, they insist we take pictures too for them. So brad and i pose for them. they tell us we;re sexy(which is always appreciated) I had a big gulp of what they were drinking, which may not have been a good idea. we then go to the boys where upstairs there is a party. i meet a few cute people and after about four hunch punch cups correy brad and i dragged our drunk carcases thru boystown and found a few fantastic people. i forgot how much i love to be drunk in public. kicking bikes, giving out my number, hanging all over people like wasted lush, ew!

beat: tori cut the fucking crap, move to chicago

COOOOOOOMEOOOOOOOOOOOON

beat: agyness girl! i'm after you

MUCH RESPECT AND LOVE TO MISS DEYN!

beat: in all this free time i've undesirably obtained.

i've decided to start the style blog ive been wanting to do for a while. it's not an original idea, but what is? shit, im just bored, so gonna take my creeping to a new level, asking the people i creep to take their photograph. WHAT? http;//www.checkoutmyshoesat.blogspot.com, called {c u t e p e o p l e} it should be up and running by the weekend. tell me what you think.

beat: noise in my head

you know when you wake up already in deep thought? this is what i picture my brain sounding like. tell me what you think

beat: a reminder

THANK YOU BRENNA FOR REMINDING ME, ONE DAY WE'RE GONNA LIVE IN PARIS

beat: a good day in chicago

a. if you aren't familiar with correy, i'll refresh ur memory. i met her thru kendra. correy and i hit if off and have been getting to own eachother ever since. this day we(lisa and I) were forcing her to go around to the aa's to turn in her resumes. aa to her is what marc is to me horrifiing, so i understood she hestitation and stalling for what was an impressive three hours of jokes.

b. but we got out of the house finally. she did great(turning in a resume. i went in to fill out paper work and stuff. we also stopped by dina's apartment.

c. we went by the lake, they jumped in, i took pictures like a creep, but whatev. all in all, it was a good day in chicago.

beat: at a stand still

a. i'm not depressed or unhappy, but i am in a limbo sort of mindset recently. things are coming so slowly and by things i mean the mail. if you don't already know i lost my sc drivers licence almost as soon as i got here (urgh) and sc can't just send me another so the fastest and cheapest way of handling this was to have my birth certificate mailed, so i can get an illinois id. my mom mailed it on monday of last week and it still isn't here. hopefully things are still in line with aa, so when it arrives i can start.

b. i feel most would freak under the pressure of being in a new city and having things move so leisurely, but it seeming to sink in. but it you read this, then you know me and how i cope (i deal) and it sucks.

c. i hate asking for help although i always seem to be telling my friends that they never need to hesitate to ask me for any type of assistance, whether it be monetary or if they need me to sit and listen to them bitch.(urgh)

d. pride can suck. i'm telling myself this is what new york is gonna be like. wait. why do i want to move there. oh yeah, im nuts

beat: mwah to brenna

a. i met brenna when she offered me chicken nuggets at this party i host at sharpies one night. i didn't think that much of it at first(i was crossed eyed drunk)then a month or so later she was hired at civvies.

b. we quickly got along. its hard not to get to own someone in the small store. we talked fashion, savannah gossip, and music.

c. i have many good times with brenna downtown, but my favorite would have to be when miss j was in town. we were drinking at venus de milo, a "nice" bar in old savvy. miss j was there being snotty. although i was in the show that year i felt awkward going up to him and being "omg, what up jjjjjj" so brenna and i just drank until we had enough drunk courage to go toward him. so we're finally sitting next to him. brenna weirdly on my lap (hahahahaha), goes in to tap him. he whips his head around and without words, gestures, "what" with his eyes and hand. brenna and i both just look at him as if he's a alien from planet unnecessary diva. he turns back, i laugh and brenna sits there stunned. he leaves and we steal his water or what we thought was some crazy expensive vodka.

beat: if my father knew, ha!?

Sigur Rós - Viðrar vel til loftárása
Uploaded by kluless19

this was nothing like my childhood, but i still found it moving; and funny

beat: plan a.

a. I only plan on being in Chicago for a year and a half, then I'm moving to New York even if it kills me. If I end up there butt ass naked it will be all too worth it. I think there is something fantastic about being able to live in the mecca of the US. And besides if I want to go anywhere in fashion that's where I need to be.

b. modeling? honestly, i think the notion of me being a serious(signed) model is comical. I've done a few things for photographer friends, but that was the extent of that. But now that I'm taking a break from school and maybe changing my life plan, trying this modeling thing might be worthwhile. I hear alot that people get into the design and photography aspect of the industry thru modeling first. You meet important people quickly. Just a thought

c. working on a illustration portfolio with a emphasis on fashion is my main focus here and by the time nyc rolls around ago I'll be ready.

(SIDENOTE)i really had no idea how much loved personal style and fashion. i guess the lack of style in my hometown (Orangeburg/Bowman, SC) made me appreciate when someone takes the time to dress themselves nicely. It's kinda sounds shallow but its not. Once I stopped raiding Old Navy and actually bought things that expressed me as a person. People took notice, i loved it. You become a sore thumb a cute sore thumb. I'm sure people think I'm an ass when i say something along the lines of only liking cute people. Cute to me isn't tall and thin, it's individuality in a world where no one is an individual or different. There is a formula to most style. Hollister kids, Punky kids, and Hipster kids they all following trends within there own groups. I forgot was I was actually talking about. ha.

d. have a great day, comeback and see me

beat:result of a storm

Joe, Justin and myself are sitting last night at the house, it had been storming for maybe an hour, but getting dramatically worse. I was pretending not to be bothered. There had been tornado warnings randomly since maybe 7:30 so I was secretly, yet not literally, shitting bricks throughout the night. Justin then comes from the room and asked, with worry in his face, "Do you guys smell smoke" and I'm like, " ah no". I get up toward Justin, then I smell it. We all go down the front stairs to look around (be nosey). We still smell smoke. It's close, it could be the house itself. We then look down the thin space between our buildings and realize to our horror that it coming for the back. We go back up stairs. I, with hast, go to the back stairs. There are already two women on the stair worried. They ask, is it our apartment. No of course, so we all collect ourselves in the back alley behind all the houses. We look up and with a sudden stillness, shock, and rain in the air we all realize its a house on the next street. We could see the flames and thick black smoke billowing out of the house, reaching for the trees. We all run to the next street up. We get there to find out that lighting stroke the abandoned house. I hurried back to the apartment to grab a camera, knocking things over to find the memory card, it was an ordeal.

People were everywhere and relieved that the house was empty, but still saddened. It dawned on me that I never seen a house burn down in person. It was great to see the fire fighters in person do their job, although I'm sure they were annoyed with all of the people watching and taking pictures IE ME...